The Witcher 3: The 5 Best Side Quests (& 5 That Are Just Annoying)
With The Witcher popularity hitting an all-time high, we figure we should help out all the probably new players of The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. The modding aspect of the game is already covered, so we'll be covering quests. This game is gigantic, like seriously huge. It has multiple maps covered with monster nests, quest events, and towns to nab Gwent cards from. People who just want to experience the story can absolutely just blitz through the mainline quests.
But, for those looking for a game that'll last them the next couple of years, there are over a hundred different side quests. We're popping in to talk about a few of the very best, and the teensy amount of annoying ones. We picked these based on certain aspects such as memorable characters, writing quality, overall fun gameplay-wise, and unique design. So let's see which the Witcher loves most.
10 Best: Gwent: Collect Them All
This is a quest that will follow players through most if not all of Witcher 3 including the two DLC expansions. It's a side quest that will take Geralt through pubs, inns, brothels, castles, gardens, and even the slums in his pursuit of one thing and one thing only. Sick. Gwent. Cards. That's right, CD Projekt Red made their own card game for Witcher 3 and it's a blast.
This is a quest players get once they win their first card in a match and it only has one objective "Collect them all". It might not be for everyone, but we personally adore Gwent and had so much fun hunting down every NPC who might possibly want to play against us.
9 Annoying: Broken Flowers Dandelion
The Dandelion rescue section of Novigrad is honestly where a lot of people originally fell off of The Witcher 3. Why? Because it sort of drags on and on and the scenery doesn't change much. For those who were fans of Dandelion (especially after he tossed a coin in the Netflix show) and his compatriots, the writing here was a lot of fun. But, for everyone else, it goes on about 2-3 missions too long.
The part where players really feel it drag is during the Broken Flowers section where players have to talk to all of his old ex's. It's great for EXP but really just amounts to about 45 minutes of pointless conversation.
8 Best: Ghosts Of The Past
Nothing is better in these games than when old characters pop back up. You can almost hear phantom players cheering when Sigi Reuven turns out to be Sigi Djikstra, when Roche shows up, and when Zoltan pop's his short little head back in. But, what's even better is when we get to see the main antagonist of the previous game and have another heart to heart conversation with him.
Be aware, this quest is only for those who spared Letho in Witcher 2 and transferred their save or answered that he was alive when questioned in the Nilfgaardian prologue. There are three endings to this quest and one of them even results in the bald Snake School Witcher chilling out at Kaer Morhen.
7 Annoying: Wine Wars
The Blood & Wine expansion of Witcher 3 is a ton of fun. First of all, it's a great end to Geralt's story. Secondly, it deals with a lot more fantastical elements than anything else in the game.
And lastly, it's full of such elegant people! And, what's more elegant than wine? Still, Wine Wars is one of the few Toussaint quests that sucks. Why? Because it involves a bunch of mundane tasks for pompous Vineyard owners and fighting a ton of Arachasae. It's just repetitive is all, and there's not much more to say than that.
6 Best: Of Dairy And Darkness
Magic is powerful in The Witcher series, but we bet you didn't expect that there would be a study of magic based entirely on cheese huh? In the "Of Dairy and Darkness" quest, players scour through the ruins of one Aeremaes, a mage that was burned at the stake in Novigrad. The player must tip-toe their way through his maze, avoiding the noxious fumes of aged cheese spread throughout.
And, if they have the Eye of Nehaleni from Keira Metz they can get to the end where they'll find the relic sword The Emmentaler, which is actually quite an awesome blade.
5 Annoying: Reasons Of State
Reason of State should be one of the best quests in the game. But, there's one main reason why it's on this side of the list, and that has to do with the ending. Basically, the quest has Geralt, Roche, and Djikstra planning the assassination of Radovid, as the mad king has gone too far. We won't spoil how, but after everything is said and done, Djikstra reveals his next plan, which involves killing Roche.
So, players are forced to choose between the two. It's incredibly forced. Djikstra is about discussion, and wouldn't be stupid enough to fight himself against Geralt and Roche, especially with only 4 guards. Let's just say that fight isn't exactly ending up on our best bosses list.
4 Best: Where The Wolf And Cat Play
Quite honestly, the different Witcher schools are one of the most interesting pieces of lore in the series, and we're sad that neither the books or games go into them enough. Seriously, little facts like how the School of the Cat is made up of Elven children, the School of the Bear tends to use heavy armor, and even just the fact that Letho is from the school of the Snake.
In Where the Cat and Wolf play, Geralt comes across a contract he took on already completed, and a village slaughtered. We won't go too much into it, but another Witcher played a part in the slaughter, and we're given a very morally grey choice, it's a tough decision and an even tougher moral conundrum.
3 Annoying: The Play's The Thing
Remember how we talked about that patch of quests in Novigrad earlier where a lot of players fell off the game from boredom? This is the one tons of fans complain about. Why? Because it just isn't very well thought out or executed. Basically, to find an acting-crazed Doppler named Dudu, Witcher and friends put on a play to lure him out.
Frankly, there are a million other easier ways to lure him out other than this, but the play itself is just horribly voice acted and drags on. Although, after the Cintra-based version of the play is double as interesting after watching a similar scene in the Netflix series.
2 Best: Scenes From A Marriage
The best quests in The Witcher series are the ones with bittersweet stories. The world Geralt lives in is dark, horrifying, and unforgiving. So, the sadder these stories are, the more real they feel.
"Scenes From A Marriage" is a side quest where Geralt gets to meet one of the coolest bosses in the game, The Caretaker. It's also a quest where he travels to a painted world similar to Dark Souls and talks back and forth with a dog and cat. If any of that interests you, hurry up and get to the Hearts of Stone DLC. Why? Because there's a ton of content in it that people might've missed.
1 Annoying: Sleeping Dwarf Quest
And lastly, we have a quest that sucks mainly because it's right before a tearful reunion. The Isle of Mists is where Geralt finally meets up with Ciri, but in order to get to the house where she's located, Geralt has to find and escort a band of sleepy Dwarves that are just a real pain in the rear.
We get it, they're a reference to Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, har har. But, that doesn't excuse forcing the players to do a painfully annoying escort mission just to get to Ciri. And what's worse, it's not just an escort mission, players have to keep Gaspard awake while they get to the hut, making it even more tedious.
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