Skyrim: 10 Things About The Thieves Guild That Make Absolutely No Sense
The Dragonborn in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim can become almost anything they want. Whether they want to follow the honorable path of a warrior with the Companions, become an intelligent mage at the College of Winterhold or walk the stealthy path of assassins among other Dark Brotherhood members, it's all up to them.
The Thieves Guild is one of the many factions the Dragonborn can join, with its unique questline that focuses on the inner corruption of the Guild that stands before its success. Although the questline and the guild's characters aren't bad, there's definitely a few details to it that don't make any sense.
10 They're Ready To Recruit Anyone
The first inconsistency begins when the Dragonborn enters Riften marketplace for the first time. They're confronted by Brynjolf, who remarks something about their lack of coin, or lack of experience in honest work.
Although he has absolutely no idea about who the player is, he's so ready to get them onboard the whole Thieves Guild experience after just one test at the marketplace. Is that really enough to say whether someone's trustworthy and has potential to be a thief? Seems foolish at best.
9 They Once Lived In A Palace
The Thieves Guild, much like all the other factions in the game, has a surprisingly long history that goes back hundreds of years. Unfortunately, it's been a long time since the guild's golden days, but few even know just how lavishly the thieves of the past actually lived.
It's said that the former guild used to live in a palace-like abode, with their own merchants and blacksmiths. This seems far too high profile for a faction that specializes in keeping a low profile and stealing from others. It just doesn't make much sense.
8 Everyone Believed Karliah Was A Murderer
In the first part of the questline for the Guild, Karliah is introduced as an antagonist. Mercer claims that she was actually behind the murder of the former Guildmaster, and that she's since been exiled from the Thieves Guild as a punishment for her crimes.
However, Mercer's claim that Karliah is the murderer makes no sense, given that it Gallus, the former Guildmaster, and Karliah were lovers. Why would she then turn on him and betray him? It's a possibility, but the likelihood of it seems too low to be believable.
7 No One Questions Mercer's Lockpicking Skills
It becomes obvious at some point during the questline that Mercer is quite the talented thief, in every sense of the word. He's great at combat, but most importantly, there isn't a single door that he can't get through with his impeccable lockpicking skills.
Is it really believable that he's able to open any door like this? Perhaps the other members truly do believe he's an excellent thief, but it gets suspicious even for the player themselves when he's able to pry open just about any old door when chasing after Karliah.
6 Rich People Trust The Guild
The Thieves Guild is one of the most ambiguous guilds out there, and similarly to the Dark Brotherhood, has often been utilized by its very victims as a sort of tool or leverage. In fact, it's not uncommon for rich people to rely on the Guild to keep rogue thieves and less experienced thieves in check.
And yet, this idea is just ridiculous. Why would the rich people of Tamriel ever put their trust on a guild that could rob them in an instant? It seems like an extremely dangerous friendship, one that's ultimately done out of desperation.
5 Maven Asks The Weakened Guild For Protection
Maven Black-Briar is a fiercely hated character in Skyrim, and that's because she doesn't suck up to anyone. She's the matriarch of her family, and oversees all business operations, taking down competitors through dirty means and at all costs. Her greed is so powerful it even extends to asking the Thieves Guild for support and protection against her enemies.
However, her choice to rely on the Guild is a bit strange. Maven knows the Thieves Guild is weak and withered at the start of Skyrim, so why would she still rely on them to act as her muscle? Surely, there are better choices in Skyrim than them.
4 No Punishment For Using The Skeleton Key
Eventually, the Dragonborn will discover that Mercer isn't actually as talented as he seems. In fact, he's just been using a Daedric artifact all this time to open any and all doors. This artifact originally belongs to Nocturnal, and is known as the Skeleton Key. Basically, it's a lockpick that never breaks.
The Dragonborn gets this lockpick eventually as well, and the player can hold on to it indefinitely, unless they want to finish the quest. However, there's no real incentive to hand the Skeleton Key over, which defeats the purpose of the quest. Plus, no one ever punishes the Dragonborn for using it to their heart's content.
3 Nocturnal Hates Being Robbed
Among the Daedric Lords, Nocturnal is perhaps the least crazed one. At least she seems to want to treat mortals with relative kindness, compared to some of the other beings that only see them as their tools. Still, Nocturnal isn't without her own faults.
As the patron of thieves, it's quite ironic if not a bit short-sighted of her to hate being robbed. Wouldn't it be a divine sign if someone did manage to steal from Nocturnal successfully and therefore prove themselves to her? Instead, she just gets furious and demands the return of the Skeleton Key.
2 No One Notices Mercer Stealing From The Guild
Within the headquarters of the Thieves Guild, the members keep all their goodies and stolen riches inside a tightly guarded vault. Well, at least that's what players are led to believe. The truth is, this vault isn't properly guarded at all, and has been emptied a while ago.
How amusing is it to realize this group of professional, seasoned thieves can't even notice one person stealing out of their vault? This wasn't an overnight operation either. Mercer must have done this over a long period of time, making matters look even worse.
1 The Guild Threatens Local Small Businesses
Riften isn't the most economically vibrant city in Skyrim. For one, there isn't even proper trade coming through the lake and for two, there's so much corruption that most businesses can't even fathom making an honest, decent profit.
And yet, the Thieves Guild still sends the Dragonborn off to do a shakedown of all the local businesses. This seems a bit unfair, considering these businesses are probably not doing that well. At least, not as well as Maven Black-Briar's brewery. Given that the Guild's core idea is to never steal from the poor, in an economically fragile city it doesn't make sense to threaten the small businesses that keep everything afloat.
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