Devil Daggers update adds a new dagger that almost nobody will ever get

The gothic survival FPS Devil Daggers is old enough that it actually did a turn on Steam Greenlight. It launched in early 2016 and made an immediate impression as a game that would kill you almost immediately (and that almost is if you were actually good at it). A month after it came out, the world-record holder had managed to survive for 612 seconds.

It made enough of an impression to earn a Staff Pick in our 2016 Game of the Year Awards, and five years down the road, Devil Daggers still holds a spot on our list of the hardest games on PC. In February, to mark its fifth anniversary, the game also got its first update on Steam since 2016. 

The patch is mostly focused on quality of life features, including the addition of replay scrubbing which will enable you to jump to any part of a replay, new stats and graphs in replays, and some significant performance increases—"up to 5x or more in some cases," developer Sorath said.

The real hook, though, is the addition of a brand new, unique dagger. Check out this sweet little pig-sticker:

(Image credit: Sorath)

Nice, eh? There's only one catch: To earn it, you have to survive for at least 1,000 seconds. 

Now, I'm not going to say that looking at the image above is as close as you're ever going to get to this dagger, but I will point out that if you pop around to the Devil Daggers leaderboards, you'll see that a whopping 47 people worldwide have managed to surpass the necessary mark. The top Daggerer, named axe, lasted 1136.7615 seconds before being swarmed to death.

(The person in 100th place on the list—because 100 seems like a nice round number to play with—managed to survive for 883.8950 seconds, by the way.)

So, good luck. I suspect you'll need it. The full patch notes are below.

• Improved fps limiter and added slider to options menu.
• Added volume slider for menu music.
• Changed default fov from 75 to 90.
• Added gem/homing counter (toggle by pressing 2).
• Improved mod support (allows smaller mod files, and stacking multiple mods).
• Added controls for toggling different hud elements (default keys 1,2,3,4)
• Added a short delay before activating mouse after death to avoid clicking off-screen.
• Fixed kill count and accuracy in stats.
• Added more data for ddstats to use.
• Fixed bug that caused player sounds and music to not play in stereo.
• Fixed centipedes stopping in place when running in to the ground or another enemy.
• Fixed centipedes getting stuck upside down.
• Fixed spiders being pushed around by centipede corpses.
• Replays now only upload if you beat your high score.
• Replays won't try to upload when using a custom spawnset.
• Certain mods will show a warning and not allow scores over 1000 seconds to submit.
• Plus more fixes and QoL improvements.